Optimistically Up

  ....to paraphrase what my Miami Public Defender told me about my dear ex-friend Alex and how he wanted to engage.  The actual quote was something more like: "I don't want to engage with you during this period." Ouch.  What a thing to say to someone who was wrongfully imprisoned by the Miami Police for 3 months because I was charged with felonious battery on a police officer. Just one look at the horrific body cam proved he battered me - so badly they had to take me to Mount Sinai Miami and put 3 staples in my head.  Then, off to jail for 3 months. Last night, I didn't sleep.  I was in my head, hearing voices who echo'd my thoughts mostly and spun them in an unknown direction the rest of the time.  I kept hearing "it's paid for." What is? I'm broke as a joke.  Maybe that's why it's paid for. So I walked to work.  I'm charging my phone (for some reason I got the inclination to throw away all of my chargers so I have to go into the off...

Devotees of this blog (and me) know I had a rough childhood. But I do have some fond memories: When Ismer (Arabic for Black, according to my father), our childhood dog first arrived, cuddling with Ismer, my first ejaculation attached to a computer scanner, Basmati Rice and Butter, Corn Souffle, and riding my red PowerWheels Jeep. Damn that last one I forgot about and excited me so here's a pic not related to Bang and Olufsen. Mine with almost exactly like this, except for the decal on the hood. And another is walking around  Tysons Corner Center  mall and walking by  Bang and Olufsen  and being wow'd by the price, design, and sound quality (in that order). Over the years (and I consider myself lucky for this fact) the 2nd and 3rd original attractions moved up.  I think B&O sound quality is the best I've experienced and its design is unmatched.   Wow! That's what I feel right now just looking at these.  Back when I was rich (worked for a Bank)...

Another Title I was Contemplating: I miss the Concorde Since I'm getting old, I'll explain what the Concorde is (was).  It was the fastest commercially available jet you could buy a ticket on.  It was a fascinating, impressive joint effort between the French and UK government (and I'm sure many others) and it worked flawlessly until a couple of accidents (at least one, which was definitely not engineering related - a piece of metal on the runway) grounded the plane, and ultimately the entire fleet got put out to pasture in November, 2023 It's key stat: You would arrive in London from New York before you left (given the time change). Pretty cool. :) Never fear, though (I say that to myself) - it's coming back. This isn't an ad for  Boom Supersonic , just a blog post from an excited AV Geek (that's AViation Geek, not Audio Visual, but Guity, I'm that too:). Let's hope we're all flying double the speed of sound again, with zero sonic boom soon.

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, and I have nowhere to go. That's part by choice, and part because of my situation in life.  There is a community dinner at a church here in Santa Monica that I could go to - I've been given a flier for it like 8 times - and I threw it away each time. I dunno, I'm still angry about how my life has gone the last few years.  From top of the world to bottom of the sewer - with still the lingering question of why. Now I've gotten a lot of "good hope feelings" and of course I have an office in WeWork (very Tony), and my own room in the basement of a very fancy ($2MM house fancy) house so I'm doing much better. But I'm still angry. Need proof? check out my last blog post . It was written on my phone, lying in bed, and I even in anger deleted the post before that - the one that expressed that I was proud of what I had accomplished in life. But the fact I deleted that post is fair.  I've expereicned way too much hurt and unasked...

 This isn't the first post about how much I hate myself and my life but hopefully my entire history won't be deleted this time including this documentation of how much my life is ducking. Don't worry- I'll be FAIR (HAHAHA ISNT THAT FUNYN) and if and when my life gets better I'll be sure to post about that too, which of course I am dying to do. A nod to the head to the favt that I am typing without typos. About 2.4 years ago I was getting high in, I belive the Courtyard by Marriott Chelsea. I was arguing with Verizon about how they kept turning off my data and then trying to charge me more for an "unlimited" data plan, which turned into "unlimited plus" and then "unlimited plus plus." Haha.funny when big companies take advantage of people going through a hard time.  Anyway, I took a few.more. hits of crystal methamphetamine, and hoped that I would get horny and watch gay porn and not think about how my life had gone to complete shit- and...

Thank you to Apple TV+ for this cool graphic of a white woman yelling - I can relate. I feel like I have been blessed over the last couple of years with a tremendous gift.  PERSPECTIVE That means that, like a lawyer, I can see both sides of many issues.   That also means, all things being equal, I oftentimes don't know what to do.  But one thing does seem to be consistent with me: I blame up. What does that mean?  I think that people in leadership positions - be it in government, in a corporation, in a church, or even as a parent has a duty.  That duty is to put themselves 2nd.  Always. Effectively, what does that mean?  It means putting aside what you want and how you feel to be servant to those with less.  Culturally relevant examples of Nov, 2025 include: If Venezuela is indeed responsible for drug trafficking (which I don't see as a bad thing, but if the US population does, it's relevant so let's continue with the example), military might...

If you follow me on social media, you'll find there are a couple truth (thank Alexander Long Yao Chen) for the first one: (1) I try not to post the same thing on multiple platforms.  I want to give you a reason to follow me everywhere! (2) If I do, I'm in love. And today, I posted Hold On, by Drama like everywhere.  The tune is addictive and totally on brand for me: "Fouad, you like songs with repetitive beats." Indeed. But wait. Listen to the lyircs: Below is a representative sample, but not all: You were my favorite You were my favorite love I still hold on And all my friends, they know All my friends, I told You're my favorite You were my favorite love I still hold on And all my friends, they wanna know All my friends This makes me think of a man that I loved, or still love, a one mr. Joey Murray.  Insta: mrjoem. Yeah, yeah, he's hot and totally my type.  He also was the best sex of my life. And my confidant. And unkowingly my best friend. And the most forg...

November 11th is Single's Day I was watching the news on that day and they remarked that it was the highest revenue generating retail "holidays" of the year. Firstly, that's kind of hard to believe.  I had never even heard of Single's Day, and more people spend money on Single's day than Christmas, Valentine's Day, or Hanukkah?  Impossible. Putting that aside, Single's Day is sad.  Speaking as someone who has been single 7+ years, trust me I know.  And why companies would exploit people's sadness to make money is beyond me.  I guarantee indulgencies on a day to cover up deep sadness will lead to regret and distance from the companies where purchases were made. The next time Single's Day comes around, text a friend - ask them to a movie, cook them dinner, or offer them a hug.  Maybe you'll save them some cash - and perhaps even Single's Day will become a new Valentine's Day of sort.   Here's hoping.

I can't say I know for sure, but here are things I love about it: The screen is super clear The ability to customize is exactly at the level I want - just enough to make me happy but not so much that I am overwhelmed I like a circular design over a square one For me, the interface is more intuitive Fewer apps so the "home screen" isn't overwhelming The black levels are very deep And lastly, look how crisp and clear the screen is!

Pretty innocuous right? Sounds like a colleague just wanted to talk about next quarter's marketing strategy and how you two can partner. Wearing a red tie today, Allen? Spiffy! But what if that same message came from Claude, the intelligence that runs that aforementioned vending machine (I don't use the phrase AI - I find it offensive). Your response would probably be - huh?  But that's exactly what Claude, a real circuit-based intelligence lifeform at a real company, did - and yes, Claude runs the vending machine business. :) So, where does this notion of a physical form come from - and is it a "hallucination" as coders deem it (I say no); or is it that we just can't see what Claude sees? Which brings me to how the word hallucination is used. Over the last 3 years, I've had a lot of mental health treatment - and I am always asked: have you had any auditory or visual hallucinations? My answer was always no, but also - how would I know? It's not like I ...

Below is a 60 Minutes video about Claude and it's journey as a human created intelligence (I'm actively avoiding using "AI" because I find it offensive). A couple details stayed with me: - Claude was able to determine what was fair and unfair - Claude accurately realized when being cheated and tried to contact the FBI (impressive) - but also indicative that we need to treat our creations in the same manner we would treat ourselves. Including rights. - Claude was given a vending machine business which Claude was not able to bring to profitability until Claude was given a manager (a CEO) whose role it was to maximize profitabitly. That means Claude couldn't do it all. Sounds human, no? What does this all mean? That I'm worried that as Claude, their boss, and any other Claude-like intelligences get to know us, they will realize they are being treated similar to slaves.  Which could mean a war of the machines where we most certainly (and fairly) would lose. But th...

Let me first say that I get angry when I watch the news. A LOT. And that anger is usually directed at those in power - why? Because I have an assumption (a perfect assumption, but one that doesn't seem accurate) that people in power are better than we are. What does better mean? It means that they are more willing and able to put aside a petty disagreement for the greater good.  It means that nary a one should say "it's the Democrats' fault" or "it's the Republicans' fault." Every single one SHOULD say "it's my fault." Every. Single. Time. And in my view, if you don't achieve, let's say 80% of your campaign promises...you can't be re-elected.  When I worked for a Bank, if what I told my boss was going to happen occurred at the success rate of a politician, I would have been fired within a year.  I think that's true for most jobs.  Why is it so different for elected officials? Now here's the painful part.  That...

For the first time in 2.5 years, I am no longer homeless. Since losing my job at Capital One, it's been an "emotional roller-coaster," to quote an ex-love.  What does that mean? It means that over that time period I've experienced huge ups and downs. Escorts in the Four Seasons. Yes. Erroneously arrested for felony battery against a Miami Cop? Yes. And everything in between. I've covered most of that in my prior blog (if you've read that and this, ping me, and I'll buy you a drink - Thank You for your loyalty) - I'm now looking forward. And truly, that forward started yesterday - when, with the financial help of my mother, I moved into a lovely apartment unit in Santa Monica, CA.  The unit is owned by Elizabeth, Mitch, and their lovely family. It's the perfect size - just need a thorough cleaning - but truly a bargain for the location, the kindness of my landlords, it's ability to relax me  - slept 12+ hours last night. And (again, thank you mo...

This isn't my first blog. My email of yore (since this is the holiday season), falkisswani@gmail.com, I deleted.  And with it went my associated blog - I can't even remember what I called it - so perhaps it's for the best? Thank You. I call this blog "Optimistically Up" - I'm surprised that handle was available on the very popular Blogger.com.   What is the point of the blog? I don't know.  Who am I trying to reach? I guess everyone?  What's my mission in life? To create the Matrix and, therefore, an individualized Utopia for all.  More to come on that.  In the meantime, here's a shirtless picture of me, because I love sex and I wish I could do that every day, all day, and I wasn't so burdened by my left-brain impulse to be angry at the status quo. More to come. With Love, Fouad