Optimistically Up

 I've always said that if I was ever held-up that I would ask the person "Why are you doing this? What's wrong?"  Turns out that I was too much of a pussy to do that.  I just cowered and let the person get away with belongings. But I digress.  I didn't write this article to complain, I wrote it to empathize. Because Criminals are people too.  And perhaps I was too hard on myself.  Why did the man steal my phone and backpack?  He needed the money and he had a message for me too: "People steal."  Whoops. I guess that one was partly my fault. Damn. I just disagressed again. Let me pull up. Last night, I started re-watching Hijack on Apple TV with Idris Elbda.  There was a scene when one of the hijackers held a stewardess at gunpoint while she spoke with the Co-Pilot who was also female.  The Co-Pilot refused entry to the cockpit. Stewardess: "She saying no." Hijacker: "She?" Stewardess:  "[The] First Officer." Hijacker:  "...

What am I talking about? Life, I suppose.

I'm a big sci-fi fan - more Star Trek than Star Wars and more Indepedence Day than Alien (though didn't the Alien's look the same in both?)...?  I'm rewatching The Expanse - I love  Shohreh Aghdashloo and her Chrisjen Avasarala - and honestly I love strong women. On TV/Film and in life. There are several things that I don't love about The Expanse (us vs. them nature of Mars and Earth, torture, black market dealings - all trade should be legal with consent) but I do love the role of UN Secretary General (played by Shohreh Aghashloo in later seasons, here she plays kind of a Secretary of State role as Deputy Undersecretary). Why? Because Earth has a singular governing entity who provides assistance (including housing and food) for everyone.  In this scene, Chrisjen (Season 2, Episode 9 - "The Weeping Somnambulist")  comments on the majority of earth relies on basic assistance because "It's not that they're lazy you know...it's just that we...

 Two knowns: I'm a gay man. I love sex. Even though I haven't had any of it for like 3 years. A sad truth. I just redownloaded grindr, and am filled with trepidation.  Firstly, I opened it and the grid was filled with all hot white guys that I love - and my first thought was - is this real?  Are there really so many hot white guys within grindr grid range (currently in the suburbs of Santa Monica) - mostly families. To quote Trump - who apparently renamed the Kennedy Center to Trump Kennedy Center - really, what has Trump done for the arts?  Update: December 22nd - 3 days after the above paragraphs... Deleted Grindr, and still pissed about Trump and the Kennedy Center. Why deleted Grindr?  I want to meet people the "old fashioned" way - in person.  Why? No reason other than I'm ashamed that every man I've ever loved I've met online - be it Grindr, Manhunt (I miss the Manhunt ads in Chelsea when I moved there 10+ years ago!), bbrts.com, or Adam4Adam

 I woke up to a song in my head, Len's Steal My Sunshine. I have always loved that song, but most recently it came to my memory because of tow hot white guys who posted it on their social media: Joey Murray (mrjoeym on Instagram) and Ace Carter (AceCarter69 on Instagram). It's a catchy tune, but the title today caught my attention, Don't Steal My Sunshine.  Recently I have felt that I have been in an emotionally shared relationship with the Universe and it's been quite greedy in that regard.  Devotees will note how frequently I talk about how unhappy I am and why. Can there be a zero-sum emotional relationship that can work?  Does that even exist? And how does true empathy even work?  Sure you can rationally think that a friend telling you about their cheating spouse is super sad which can make you sad for them (and all people who are cheated on) but has anyone actually felt like happiness with another individual (or set of individuals) can't be achieved because...

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 i DUNNO how to say this but I have new hoipe Why?  I think it was the old white lady on the bus who, as I was spinning about an email from the "Community Manager" here at WeWork who gave me feedback about 3 things that I did and was told that if I "kept it up" then my lease might be terminated. (1) Twice I picked leaves off a plant in the kitchen and put them in my coffee (I already received an email about this from the "Community Lead" and apologized for it - and haven't plucked any plant leaves since them). Also, this was referred to as "Damaging the Plants" (2) I put candy in the communal candy bowl.  I was accused of it being cannibis-laced.  It was not. (3) While cleaning the shared workspace, I put an old wrist-pad into a box and moved a filing cabinet 3 feet.  When he came in today I told him I did both and appologized.  Profusely. That's it. Anyway, this "New Hope" came in the form of the lady explaining to me (without ...